Stupid Inspirational Quotes

Despite the fact that I’m a writer and lover of books, music, poetry, etc. I’ve always kind of hated quotes, especially inspirational ones. I’m not just talking about the terrible quotes people put on repurposed wood in their home like “Live, Laugh, Love” but just any kind of seemingly helpful phrase folks will throw around whenever you’re in a time of crisis. The only quote I kind of like is: “it is what it is”, because like, it is…what it is.

Anyway, recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about the notion that “time heals all wounds”. As a person who has been mentally and emotionally wounded quite a bit, this thought is something that I often return to, as I’m always curious if it’s true, and in what way. After all, if people are going to keep saying the same stupid thing to you over and over, shouldn’t there be a nugget of reality in there somewhere?

It occurred to me, quite randomly the other day, that I no longer remembered the name of the girl my husband had an affair with. It was interesting to me that this name, a name I had previously hated, a name that circled my mind over and over like a rusty old record, had suddenly slipped out of my brain. Truth be told, I even strained my mind to recall it, but I couldn’t. Not even the first letter. While I’ve done a pretty good job of cutting myself off from things that may remind me of my ex, and the pain associated with him (not an easy feat in the age of technology), it only made sense me to that the simple passing of time had removed this person’s name from my memory. I don’t know if I am healing yet, but slowly and surely, I am forgetting.

What I haven’t forgotten, though, is exactly how many glasses we had in our cupboards when we shared a home. I remember the way his shirts smelled, and which ones were his favorite. I remember exactly the way his palms felt when we held hands, or when he touched my face. I remember everything about us, and I think about it almost every single fucking day.

Whether it’s a bad romance, a death, a pet, or a friendship that ran it’s course, you do eventually stop crying. You do pick yourself up off the floor, you talk it out, you return to your life. No one tells you exactly how long it will take before your routine continues, before your bones stop aching, but they do. They just do. It’s the waiting part that sucks.

Having depression follow me around like a needy cat for most of my life has caused me to seek out various solutions to sadness, and the most common practice I utilize is distraction. I just throw myself into a variety of jobs, extracurriculars, or creative projects until I don’t have the energy or time to acknowledge my sadness. I would hardly call this a path to healing, but it works in its own way.

And isn’t that what we’re all kind of doing with our pain? Pushing it to the back of our mind, hoping we forget about it eventually? What this shitty little quote fails to mention is that though we may not outwardly be a mess after a few weeks or months or years, the person you become after trauma is not the same. I don’t look at men the way I used to. I don’t see a young, smiling, open, potential partner anymore (if I can even muster a crush these days). I see someone who will lie, who will cheat, who will cause me pain. Even more so, I see this changed me: someone who is covered in thorns, who doesn’t want to be touched, that is ready with a brick wall of sarcasm and nasty comments to prevent anyone from getting in.

I’ve seen too much now, and I’ve felt too much now, to ever be able to hug someone of the opposite sex without internally shuddering at the thought of what they might do to me and my heart.

Yes, it’s going to take more time. It always takes more time. And maybe there will be that super special guy that just makes all of those terrible feelings disappear like the name of the person who, not so long ago, contributed to making my then-life so terrible.

Time doesn’t heal you, it distracts you from the pain until you forget about it, and you eventually feel brave enough to let another version of that pain come for you again. I guess that quote is just too big to put on a throw pillow.


180 thoughts on “Stupid Inspirational Quotes

  1. I always felt that inspirational quotes are meant for quoting others. When we are facing adverse times it is practically not possible to take
    Inspiration… We are all human beings and it is normal for us to get panicked or hurt or sad.

  2. Time doesn’t necessarily heal, the scars are still there, you just reach a point where you have a new normal. Time does give us experiences though, some that teach us and makes us stronger. I love this post! Hit very close to home!
    Thankyou for posting xx

  3. I love this. I feel it takes more than just time to heal wounds of betrayal like this. I had to do counseling, well actually am still in counseling. I still remember the ladies name. Maybe in time, I will forget. The thing is, I am still married, with God I am able to forgive. But, we have a lot of work to do still. The trust has to be there to make it work successfully.

  4. Time does not heal a bit because Time has never really hurt us as we wrongly blame Him..what hurts us is the wounded Ego, the unfulfilled longings..It was not Time the popular culprit, Rather, it was our own notion about things and people that went wrong, it was our own makebelieve world that we chose to live in..that this happy times will last forever..that he/she will always be the same person..Time is indifferent to everybody.we are all like the curator of a museum. It is just a collection; big or small depending on the capacity of an individual, of the moments and experiences that were associated with the Time..that witnessed those times and bear on them the stamp of that particular slice of time.

  5. Ah, yes. The distinct discomfort of continuing to have to live on razor’s edge after being cut. I get it. And you sound like you are one who will get there. Not all do. Some stay in the corner far too long . . .

  6. A lot of the time I don’t understand the inspirational quotes and can’t be bothered sitting there thinking about them for to long. I do however enjoy Ironic quotes, and those that are funny when taken out of original context

  7. First off, let ,me just say how sorry I feel for you. Sometimes life just well, sucks, plain and simple. I will encourage you though about moving forward, their are many men to choose from that are NOT cheating bastards. I guess the trick is to be able to spot them. I wish you well, and I enjoy reading you. Good Luck!

  8. Wow this is definitely a story for people to learn from… many fall too easily once they are hurt, but one thing we should realize is no one is going to love us more than ourselves, so to let go and know that one day, the memories will fade, the pain will lessen, there’s always hope to continue living happily.

  9. I do some inspirational qoutes on my Patreon page and poeple tend to like them but, I do make them up instead of recycling the old ones others use and this seems to help as they are authentic to my own thoughts not someone elses opinions…

  10. When things happen in confirmation with our expectations, we feel happy. When things happen contrary to our expectations we feel sad. In our involvement with our own expectations, and not with the action of the other person, lies the cause of our pleasure and pain

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