Hi there. Yesterday I wrote an aggressive blog about being ghosted and how terrible it is. While I in no way, shape or form have changed my opinions about ghosting, I noticed that in my potential list of reasons for why ghosting can occur, I only blamed myself. Women do this a lot, I’ve found. “What’s was wrong with me? Why didn’t he like me? What did I do?”
It’s rare, especially in our younger years, to take the time to even think about whether or not we like the guy that’s giving us attention. We’re too consumed with the idea of him liking us, and what that all means.
The other day I asked my roommate if she actually liked the guy she was hanging out with or if she just wanted free food. It took her like 5 MINUTES to answer. It’s the plight of the female, right? We’re so used to validating ourselves through the eyes of men. Don’t beat yourself up about it, we ALL do it.
I read all kind of female empowerment blogs and books and I spend most of my time with some of the dopest women I know but we all. Still. Do. It. I feel like it’s a huge reason women get married! “Look I’m LIKED!!!!!”
So I guess the amendment I wanted to make was that, you know, maybe it’s his fault. Maybe he sucks. Maybe he doesn’t even like women! Sometimes guys are afraid or they have a shitty dad or have a shitty job and they don’t know how to deal with life. It’s no real excuse to not communicate with someone or not give them closure or make them feel fucking weird, but it happens. We all suck in our own special ways. I’m not going to make a list of things that could have been wrong with this guy (though I really want to), but I’m going to entertain the idea that I’m not the problem.
I’m still trying to find that balance between self reflection towards improvement, and self-deprecation for the sake of humor and, honestly, not getting hurt again.
The message remains the same: don’t ghost, assholes.