An Uncomfortably Emotional Letter To My Husband On His Birthday


Unfortunately, as good as I am at getting my feelings down in black and white, saying them out loud without sounding sarcastic (no,that shirt looks REALLY good on you) or condescending is nearly impossible. So, on the anniversary of my husband’s 28th trip around the sun, I decided to write him a little something. Feel free to use any of my lovely words for your own special someone- just don’t forget to give me credit.

Dear Aleks,

Happy birthday! Your birth is probably one of my favorite things that has ever happened. I am so insanely grateful that our paths crossed and you became my husband. It is bizarrely easy for me to picture us as parents, as semi-functional middle-aged adults, and even as old people. I think about taking care of you as a funny old man and it makes me smile. I never thought that I would experience such a peaceful, honest love the way I do with you.

I am so proud of all that you take on, from your music, to your acting, to your insane work ethic- you are a tornado of talent and I am so impressed with your energizer bunny-like momentum. The accomplishments and goals I have seen you reach in such a short period of time are nothing short of amazing.

They always say opposites attract, and while I think our humor, our values, and our hearts are extremely similar, you are my polar opposite in all the best ways. You are so wonderfully social, outgoing, brave, patient, and full of life. You make every person that you encounter feel valued. You always listen, you always include, and you are one of the most generous people I know. Thank you for helping me come out of my shell (I had suffered from crippling social anxiety for years and it had damaged many, many relationships and my own self esteem), I couldn’t have done it without you.

I am constantly impressed with your love for the female energy. I have never met a man so respectful, so understanding, and so patient with a woman as crazy as me. Thank you for allowing me to feel so brave and safe. I think in the past I tended to tone down my femininity, my intellect, and my pain for men. You encourage every part of me, or at least tolerate it with a smile, which is pretty damn impressive.

When I am with you, I feel like I’m with my brother. I know that sounds creepy and totally not romantic, but what I mean is, I’m so completely myself. I don’t feel judged, or like I’m trying to be impressive, or interesting, or whatever. I feel comfy and warm; I feel like I have a love that’s unconditional, which is something I’ve never felt that from someone outside of my family.

Thank you for encouraging my intelligence. My thirst for knowledge and love of books was a safe space I retreated to alone for most of my life. I never really had a lot of friends, and it was hard for me to feel good about myself for a long time. You fell in love with my mind, you listen to me, you never cease to remind me of how smart I am, and continue to build me up when I feel like I’ve failed.

You always remind me not to keep score. You’ve taught me patience, and graciousness, and a love that speaks volumes. You make me laugh, you make me cry, you make me insanely angry, but you’re slowing down for me, you’re sitting still with me, and I feel very lucky.

For a girl who has spend most of her life being harsh and weirdly angry, you have no idea how rewarding it is to hear people tell me that I look happy. Since I met you, I’ve stepped outside my comfort zone, I’ve tried new things, and I’ve found some of the most rewarding successes in my young life. My relationships with my friends and family have improved, and the shitty, heavy fortress that blocked my heart away for what felt like so long is starting to be broken away.

I know that I’m going to piss you off a lot. I know I fall asleep really early, I know I make too much noise in the morning, I know that I nag you. But I love you more than I ever thought I could love anybody. And even though I’m really bad at showing it, I hope you know how happy you make me and how grateful I am for your big heart. I’m so genuinely happy that you’re my husband. You’re my best friend, and I am so excited to share my life with you!

Thank you for being born. I’m so happy you exist(: I hope you have the best birthday ever- you deserve it!

I love you,



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