Why I Don’t Care About Football Anymore


If you’ve ever been around my father, met my roommate, or creeped back on my Facebook a few years, you’re probably aware that I’ve experienced my fair share of football watching. I don’t know if it’s because I enjoy watching people get knocked down or if I was grasping at straws for some attempt to bond with my dad, but for a decent amount of time I found myself actually giving a shit about the sport.

Football is pretty cool actually, the guys who participate in it are pretty attractive sometimes, sports bars have the potential to be a good time, and I really enjoy a decent Super Bowl party. Being a San Diegan, born and bred, I naturally gravitated to the Bolts, despite the fact that we NEVER win. It was fun to wear jerseys on game days on talk shit to Oakland fans.

In the past year or so, however, I literally just stopped caring. I’ll eat chips and dip and cheer for touchdowns like any honest American, but I just don’t take kindly to threats. As soon as the rumors regarding the Chargers moving to L.A. started swirling around, my powder blue jersey started collecting dust in my closet. Something about a multi-millionaire reprimanding the city that has done nothing but show support because they can’t afford overpriced tickets doesn’t sit right with me. Granted, the Q is a dump and we’re due for a face lift, but I’d recommend winning a game or two before you start making demands. That’s none of my business though.

Carson City is a pretty gross town, so if you really want to go there, go. Seriously, go to India. The Chargers have become a less attractive high school boyfriend to me. If you want to go sit at a different lunch table, go ahead. Really. You’re not doing me any favors.

Besides the fact that our owner is a rich, whiny asshole- let’s just take a look at the fact that the NFL (a not-for-profit organization. THINK ABOUT THAT) is basically run by a bunch of rich, whiny assholes. They literally don’t give a shit about you, your kids, your dedication to the sport, or anything of that nature. Not only do they not care about you- they don’t care about the players. If the loss of Junior Seau and the countless amount of other suicides from the sport that no one will acknowledge isn’t a glaring reminder, I promise you I can come up with more.

Say or feel however you want, but as far as I’m concerned, if you continue to pay someone, let them represent your city/team, and place them as an icon for the world to see- that means you condone their behavior, both on and off the field. So in case you live under a rock, that means that the NFL condones cheating, murdering dogs, murdering people, sexually assaulting college students, and beating up women (God forbid you roll up a joint though). Am I leaving out any other crimes?

I know you think you’re watching a bunch of dudes battle for glory, but all you’re really doing is watching corporations fight for attention. Say “us” and “we” as much as you want, but you deep-throating Ruffles from you Lay-Z-Boy really isn’t contributing to this shit show.

So keep painting your faces, keep crying about “last season”, do whatever you want. I just posted a throwback on Instagram of me in a Chargers dress holding a blue and yellow football. Am I going to take it down? No, because I look adorable. Will I get drunk at your Super Bowl party? Probably. But I’m over it, I really don’t care. Have a great season everyone.


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