A Brief Speech in Favor of All the Stupid Shows I Watch

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 First off I just want to say sorry that all of my blog posts keep starting with “I had an interview” but literally, that’s all that’s been going on. So, I had an interview last week and the Editor-In-Chief asked me to list three things that bug me. Since I was on the spot, I quickly blurted out Taylor Swift, the sound of the vacuum, and when people open my bedroom door without knocking. While these are all true, nothing truly bugs me more than when I get lectured about my television preferences. TV watching is the great American past time, it is our one sacred, glorious freedom, and I will not have anyone squander that for me.

A few of my favorite television programs include: Real Housewives (Orange County, Beverly Hills, and New York- I don’t watch Atlanta or Jersey Shore), Keeping Up With The Kardashians (and all spin offs), Vanderpump Rules, Millionaire Matchmaker, Sex and the City, Fashion Police, E! News, and Ru Paul’s Drag Race.

I’d like to argue that I’m a pretty intelligent person. I have a University education and I’m a fairly good writer. I’ve gotten quite good at artfully articulating my thoughts without insulting people. Do I think that the shows I’m watching qualify as intelligent programming? Jesus no! But when did that become the rule? Smart people are only allowed to watch smart things? Give me a break.

Just so you know, The Real Housewives are hilarious. Do you know how many dinner parties turn into all out wars on this show? It’s hysterical. In one episode a grown ass woman throws her fake leg across a room. If you think competition shows are fun, try wacthing a bunch of catty drag queens lip sync for their lives. THAT’S FUN. Vanderpump Rules follows a bunch of marginally attractive 20-somethings who work in a restaurant and all bang each other.

Talk about an escape! THIS IS WHAT TV IS ALL ABOUT! Besides just pure comedic value, these shows literally make me feel so much better about my life.

I am so over getting reprimanded about how horrible the people are on the shows that I watch. Uh, who called them role models? It’s just a show. Do you really think I’m sitting in my bed thinking “Oh my God, I wish I was a Housewife, it looks so fucking fun” or “Man when is a black rapper gonna turn up on my door so I can become a Kardashian!”?  Just because you stare at something for multiple hours doesn’t mean it is all of a sudden your life goal. Middle aged over-Botoxed women with teenage problems are fun to watch, not to be. And while I do love the Kardashian’s Calabasas home, Kris Jenner as a mother is just not something I’m emotionally prepared to handle. Not now, not ever.

Much like playing Guitar Hero every day for a year did not turn me into a rock star, watching trashy television will not turn me into trash. I like what I like, and I will never apologize for it. So get off my case everyone, and worry about your own goddamn guilty pleasures!!

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