I grew up in East County, so “No Regrets” was a tattoo and a phrase that I quickly became very familiar with. I guess the general idea is that one should not have regrets in life because everything is a learning experience. I cannot confirm nor deny that this is true, but I can say that this bitch definitely has a few regrets.

While they may not be life changing, like “I regret staying at school instead of going on Oprah” (a girl I went to high school with actually did this) or horrifying like “I regret letting the DMV give me my license because I seriously can’t drive and will probably kill someone” (Grandma, I’m looking at you), they matter to me, so I figured I’d share them.

Regret #1: I wish I would have tried a little harder, academically, in high school. I really hated being there and felt like it was a giant waste of time, but knowing what I know now about college expenses, I feel like I probably could have gotten an academic scholarship if I would have put like, an ounce of effort in. Maybe 10 years down the road when my loan has dwindled to 3 digits instead of 5 I won’t care anymore.

Regret #2: Even though they grew back, I really regret ever taking a tweezer to my eyebrows. It’s just a bummer that I was coming of age in the nineties when hideous thin eyebrows were in because I was actually graced with some Brooke Shields stunners that would put the Kardashian family to shame with a little bit of shaping. I really fucked them up in my teens. Dear all of my pregnant and soon-to-be-pregnant friends, if you have a daughter please don’t ever let her touch tweezers.

Regret #3: I don’t want to spend too much time on this one, but I really regret the way things went down with my ex-boyfriend. I sincerely believe our relationship could have had a shot if I would have handled the situation differently. We moved in together way too fast for no real reason, we weren’t financially secure which caused a lot of stress, leading me to come home cranky 90% of the time from working too much. I took my issues out on him, and I definitely did not tell him enough how wonderful he was, how much I loved and appreciated him. Truth be told, my ex was (and still is) the greatest human being I’ve ever known, and he deserved a lot better than me. I wish I would have (or could have) given him everything the right way. I’m sorry Arman! 😦

Regret #4: This one was a little out of my hands, but one year my family and a few other families that we’re close with went on a houseboat for a vacation. It was hands down, the worst vacation EVER. I couldn’t shower or poop and I didn’t even get to sleep in a bed. I seriously hated that trip. I guess I regret not throwing a bigger fit, but my parents are pretty used to ignoring my tantrums. We could have been in Cancun for Christ’s sake.

Regret #5: I’m still on the fence with this one, but as of right now, a big regret I have is not staying in San Francisco after college. I spend most of my time wishing I was there, planning trips to go there, missing all of my friends that live there, etc. etc. Granted, it’s nearly unlivable there now with all the tech shit, but it feels like my home, and I’m still not really sure if I made the right choice.

Guess I’ll go back to my boring job and my regret-filled life! Good luck everyone!


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